Hi folks,
Its been a while we haven't got a chance to share a new thought. Wish you all in good health.
I am right now spending my sabbatical leave in Bristol, United Kingdom. I will be here until December 2013 doing my research on inclusive education. But that's not the point that I would like to share this time. But to something else that I had never have the thought about it at all before. But when I have gone through right now it really opens up my conscious mind.
Being away gives me some precious moments to think and consider something not really like before. Considering our new life in the grave reminds me how the situation is going to be in terms of our relationships with our relatives, friends and others. Now it is quite similar the way it affects us. It also reminds me to the day when my father passed away, and ironically again I was here in Bristol. I know he passed away but there's nothing much I can do about. After a long discussion with my brothers and sisters and my mom they agreed if I don't comeback for the funeral. It was thousands of kilometres that separated me from my father and even if managed to get a plane to attend his funeral the time is already passed.
The same way now when during my absence a lot of things happened at my home. I have to deal with it through my wife and of course it is through phone. As a result there was nothing much I can do about it in resolving all the problems that my wife were facing right now. You know it happens, you know the best way how to deal with it but you can't do much about it as you are far away from where the problems were occurred. Similarly I think the same scenario is happening during our absence because of death where we were separated by two completely different world. Initially we know that this thing is happening and that things is going to happen and most importantly we know how to deal with it to solve it but the situation does not allow you to be presence. That could be the reasons I think why now people cried when they were facing the moment of truth - the death.
Just to share some thoughts which I hope gives strength to us especially me in facing the situation. One thing for sure which I think has to be shared equally too is that times past never be repeated. Once it passed it passed.
May my journey this time will infuse me with new understandings about life.
I wish I will be given a chance to witness my children finishing their formal education, get a job, having family and kids and that I think is the best moment in our life as a parent witnessing all those by our presence. Witnessing to all our efforts bringing them up from the moment they were born as a successful parent or otherwise. Merciful Allah Almighty in fulfilling His servant's wish. Amin.
Hmmm...that's all for now.
Thank you.
Thursday, 31 October 2013
Tuesday, 1 October 2013
BOSSY CHILD
Hi all,
I was struck by a case of my friend whose son was involved in accident recently. To me it is not about the accident that I am concern about but more to how it happened from the beginning.
To my eye it is a problem of educating the child. Let me give you an example how this thing can develop.
"Mommy! I want chicken rice for my dinner."
"Mommy! I want burger king for my lunch."
As normal reactions there are two situations really can happen:
1. The mother will go and buy for the child while the child stay at home and wait for the food.
2. The mother together with the child go out and buy the food and let the child do the order.
It look simple but the effect of the responses are different. The first one can slowly develop what so called a "bossy" child. In this situation the mother perhaps assumed that by buying the food for her child will eased the dinner or lunch preparation but in the long run it could develop negative attitude like being bossy. The second one however able to convey the message that the decision and the action of buying the food is a collective job. In fact in the long run it can foster the family ties firmly.
Perhaps this thing happening as the time goes by in our family without we realising it. Be careful because the single act or decision can creates something terrible in future!!!!!!!
Today I would like to share with you five suggestions by Judsen Culbreth, former editor-in-chief of “Parent & Child” and “Working Mother,” and conducts workshops for parents how to deal with such behaviour:
1. Unite and Conquer.
Strong-willed kids are often unusually bright, gifted and creative. Their parents need to be especially thoughtful and on their toes, ready and willing to actively manage them. Otherwise, youngsters — even toddlers — will sense an opening. “Bossy kids tend to work more on the mother,” notes Barkley. “It’s important for both parents to be mindful of their child’s trigger points, to agree on key rules, and to back each other up.”
2. Say “Yes” When You Can.
Children do not learn in a stressful, angry atmosphere. Before change can take place, family feuding needs to be defused. Evaluate sources of conflict. Kids tend to dig in and act defiant when their parents over-control them, telling them exactly what to wear and eat, for example.”
Be calm and firm about fewer family rules,” suggests Barkley. “If your child wants yogurt for breakfast but you’ve made pancakes, let it go once in a while.” It’s a matter, he says, of “prioritizing the nos.”
3. Pay Attention.
Studies show that demanding and defiant kids receive less affection and positive acknowledgement — and more punishment — than compliant kids. Withdrawing from a small tyrant is a parent’s natural response, but it feeds the child’s fears, resulting in more attempts at control. Kids need to experience their parents’ love in concrete ways so they’ll feel safe enough to relax.”
When I give her my full attention for at least 20 minutes a day, Mary Beth is very attuned to me,” says Jill White. “That’s when I can get her to think and compromise. Recently I told her, ‘We have a problem. You like to pick out your clothes, but I want to decide what you wear to church. What should we do?’ On her own, she suggested Mary Beth days and Mommy days.”
4. Make Respect Reciprocal.
Exquisite manners are essential for family diplomacy. Modeling “please” and “thank you,” and showing a child by example how to suggest and request rather than bark orders, preserves everyone’s ego. It also builds the social skills needed to keep authority figures and friends happy.
Try asking your child to do you an easy favor. Then reward it with a hug and words such as, “Thank you. I like it when you listen to me.” Good manners and compliance will become associated with pleasure.
5. Secure Your Status.
Even as you try to be attentive, respectful and accommodating — to a point — don’t surrender your parental command post. Instead, sit tall in the saddle, as one mom put it, by using body language and eye contact that tells your child who’s in charge. Also, rope off adult privileges: “That’s Daddy’s chair. Please choose another.”
Enforce rules swiftly and surely. “It’s bedtime in 30 minutes. Finish your game so we can share a story.” Refuse to engage in further debate, and simply turn off the lights at the appointed time. Bossy children can turn out to be popular, determined leaders, or unhappy, fearful loners.
I was struck by a case of my friend whose son was involved in accident recently. To me it is not about the accident that I am concern about but more to how it happened from the beginning.
To my eye it is a problem of educating the child. Let me give you an example how this thing can develop.
"Mommy! I want chicken rice for my dinner."
"Mommy! I want burger king for my lunch."
As normal reactions there are two situations really can happen:
1. The mother will go and buy for the child while the child stay at home and wait for the food.
2. The mother together with the child go out and buy the food and let the child do the order.
It look simple but the effect of the responses are different. The first one can slowly develop what so called a "bossy" child. In this situation the mother perhaps assumed that by buying the food for her child will eased the dinner or lunch preparation but in the long run it could develop negative attitude like being bossy. The second one however able to convey the message that the decision and the action of buying the food is a collective job. In fact in the long run it can foster the family ties firmly.
Perhaps this thing happening as the time goes by in our family without we realising it. Be careful because the single act or decision can creates something terrible in future!!!!!!!
Today I would like to share with you five suggestions by Judsen Culbreth, former editor-in-chief of “Parent & Child” and “Working Mother,” and conducts workshops for parents how to deal with such behaviour:
1. Unite and Conquer.
Strong-willed kids are often unusually bright, gifted and creative. Their parents need to be especially thoughtful and on their toes, ready and willing to actively manage them. Otherwise, youngsters — even toddlers — will sense an opening. “Bossy kids tend to work more on the mother,” notes Barkley. “It’s important for both parents to be mindful of their child’s trigger points, to agree on key rules, and to back each other up.”
2. Say “Yes” When You Can.
Children do not learn in a stressful, angry atmosphere. Before change can take place, family feuding needs to be defused. Evaluate sources of conflict. Kids tend to dig in and act defiant when their parents over-control them, telling them exactly what to wear and eat, for example.”
Be calm and firm about fewer family rules,” suggests Barkley. “If your child wants yogurt for breakfast but you’ve made pancakes, let it go once in a while.” It’s a matter, he says, of “prioritizing the nos.”
3. Pay Attention.
Studies show that demanding and defiant kids receive less affection and positive acknowledgement — and more punishment — than compliant kids. Withdrawing from a small tyrant is a parent’s natural response, but it feeds the child’s fears, resulting in more attempts at control. Kids need to experience their parents’ love in concrete ways so they’ll feel safe enough to relax.”
When I give her my full attention for at least 20 minutes a day, Mary Beth is very attuned to me,” says Jill White. “That’s when I can get her to think and compromise. Recently I told her, ‘We have a problem. You like to pick out your clothes, but I want to decide what you wear to church. What should we do?’ On her own, she suggested Mary Beth days and Mommy days.”
4. Make Respect Reciprocal.
Exquisite manners are essential for family diplomacy. Modeling “please” and “thank you,” and showing a child by example how to suggest and request rather than bark orders, preserves everyone’s ego. It also builds the social skills needed to keep authority figures and friends happy.
Try asking your child to do you an easy favor. Then reward it with a hug and words such as, “Thank you. I like it when you listen to me.” Good manners and compliance will become associated with pleasure.
5. Secure Your Status.
Even as you try to be attentive, respectful and accommodating — to a point — don’t surrender your parental command post. Instead, sit tall in the saddle, as one mom put it, by using body language and eye contact that tells your child who’s in charge. Also, rope off adult privileges: “That’s Daddy’s chair. Please choose another.”
Enforce rules swiftly and surely. “It’s bedtime in 30 minutes. Finish your game so we can share a story.” Refuse to engage in further debate, and simply turn off the lights at the appointed time. Bossy children can turn out to be popular, determined leaders, or unhappy, fearful loners.
Tuesday, 30 July 2013
PROBLEM-BASED. WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE CASE?
Hi everyone...
We are now at the final stage of ramadhan - the last precious ten days of the month. Anyhow wish you well in finishing it.
Many of us wondering why in learning people now concern about learning through problem. Why is it so important? What was wrong with other types of learning? Or are we just following the trend?
Let me discuss a bit about this.
Yesterday I was talking with my kids about going to the "bazaar ramadhan" - a place which only comes up during ramadhan selling various kinds of "kuih". Their mom complaining about the idea what to have for fasting break. I think this is happening to all mothers that always making their own for break.
I was suggesting for us to go to the bazaar looking for idea or something that we can have for our fasting break. We agreed that it is hard to get some ideas what to have without going to the bazaar because by going we can see lot of choices of food and beverages. It is a real situation about what to have really. Eventually we managed to pick our choices for the break - lots!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is what I mean by real situation. After we went to the bazaar then we managed to decide what to have and why. But before that it was hard. We actually need a real situation for us make choices and decisions. In fact real situation make the learning fun and interesting. We need those food and beverages choices before we can make our own pick.
That is why problem-based learning is interesting. I am not saying that making decisions for food is not really a problem and cannot be categorised as problem-based learning. But what we need to understand is that in problem-based learning we should always strive to consider a real problem in the learning. Then we can make the learning fun and more meaningful.
Artificial problem can be helpful but not as meaningful as the real one. As such in helping children in their learning we should encourage them to learn through real situation and problems. The "simulation" stage will then be more interesting and effective for their learning.
We actually have thousands of real problem and incidents everyday that we can use for in encouraging our children's learning. It is just a matter of how we see the real life problems as part of the learning.
That's all for now.
Thank you.
We are now at the final stage of ramadhan - the last precious ten days of the month. Anyhow wish you well in finishing it.
Many of us wondering why in learning people now concern about learning through problem. Why is it so important? What was wrong with other types of learning? Or are we just following the trend?
Let me discuss a bit about this.
Yesterday I was talking with my kids about going to the "bazaar ramadhan" - a place which only comes up during ramadhan selling various kinds of "kuih". Their mom complaining about the idea what to have for fasting break. I think this is happening to all mothers that always making their own for break.
I was suggesting for us to go to the bazaar looking for idea or something that we can have for our fasting break. We agreed that it is hard to get some ideas what to have without going to the bazaar because by going we can see lot of choices of food and beverages. It is a real situation about what to have really. Eventually we managed to pick our choices for the break - lots!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is what I mean by real situation. After we went to the bazaar then we managed to decide what to have and why. But before that it was hard. We actually need a real situation for us make choices and decisions. In fact real situation make the learning fun and interesting. We need those food and beverages choices before we can make our own pick.
That is why problem-based learning is interesting. I am not saying that making decisions for food is not really a problem and cannot be categorised as problem-based learning. But what we need to understand is that in problem-based learning we should always strive to consider a real problem in the learning. Then we can make the learning fun and more meaningful.
Artificial problem can be helpful but not as meaningful as the real one. As such in helping children in their learning we should encourage them to learn through real situation and problems. The "simulation" stage will then be more interesting and effective for their learning.
We actually have thousands of real problem and incidents everyday that we can use for in encouraging our children's learning. It is just a matter of how we see the real life problems as part of the learning.
That's all for now.
Thank you.
Sunday, 28 July 2013
"FITNAH" IN SOCIETY
Dear all readers,
May well always be with you all...
I feel sad about what has happened to the Headmaster of the SK Seri Pristana. I am sure not everyone happy about the issue - regardless of which side we were at. But for sure this isn't good for our education!!!!!!!!!!!
It seems that some of the parents nowadays does not really understand what is the school for, the purpose of having school in the society and alike. The understanding of the parents to their children education is at the brinks. The actions of arguing and blaming if we see from simple perspectives is just about concern about their children education. But if we look further and deeper it comes to a question whether the parents does really understand about the education and school. This is not good to our generation.
I would like to share a story about my friends. One day we have an argument about the teachers and schools. They said that teachers normally can not be trusted. And more over to what they argued, schools and teachers are hopeless and not capable. I always consider myself as a teacher, not because of I am teaching, but I have children my own. That is why I always consider myself as a teacher. As such I argued with them by saying that teachers are always honest and responsible to their teaching and the profession. Interestingly the argument becomes tense and cannot be controlled anymore. At the end I just made conclusion like this ..."if you think that you do not trust the teachers and the schools, and think that you guys are good enough in educating the children, I suggest you to take your children back home and educate them by yourself".... then the argument stopped.
In fact to me, we should understand the bond between teachers, parents, society and schools are suppose to be close. We should work together in ensuring the educational process of the children is done effectively. But what we have done is something different and unusual. Taking the SK Pristana as an example, we should look back to ourselves and start asking..."what type of parents are we"...until we dare to do such a thing to our children's school. I think I should say the same to these types of parents the same that I did before to my friends!!!!!! One thing that I think those parents should and must do is that to ask forgiveness from the school especially to the teachers of the wrong doing that they have committed. What ashamed.
To me it is not only about the capability of being a parent. I think I have mentioned this many times in my previous story about the requirement of being a parent. It is clear that those parents still lack in parenting skills. In other words they still need to learn how to become a parent. Or shall I say they actually does not have the capability of being a parent or they actually are not ready to become a parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But what more dangerous about this is that the "fitnah". Prophet PBUH has reminded us about the dangerousness of the "fitnah" if we fail to control it. It is now become apparent that the "fitnah" is now become something common and what make it interesting is that people like to do it and they happy to do it.
How do we understand about "fitnah" really. Prophet PBUH clearly warned us that "fitnah" is more dangerous than killing. Killing others will only affect to that particular persons and his relatives. But "fitnah" can destroyed not just the people but the society, which including us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
People now likes to spread story as they like to. Without any evidences they happily spread the untrue story as long to them it is true. And what make things worse is that, people tend to buy it, just like those parents at SK Seri Pristana.
There are many times we have seen or heard about one incident like car accident. It was told from one person to another that the car driver was dead at the scene instantly but in fact the things that dead was only the car engine!!!!!!!!!!! What a childish behaviour that we have now, failed to see between what is true and right and what is wrong and fake.
This is actually like I said earlier is not good for our children. They read the story, they heard the news and this is not good at all. Even telling something about the kids right in front of them is not encouraged. Do check back to what has been said in Islam as well as the learning theorists.....regarding the parenting issues...
I think that's all that I would like to say...
May Allah be always with us and guide us....
Thank you
May well always be with you all...
I feel sad about what has happened to the Headmaster of the SK Seri Pristana. I am sure not everyone happy about the issue - regardless of which side we were at. But for sure this isn't good for our education!!!!!!!!!!!
It seems that some of the parents nowadays does not really understand what is the school for, the purpose of having school in the society and alike. The understanding of the parents to their children education is at the brinks. The actions of arguing and blaming if we see from simple perspectives is just about concern about their children education. But if we look further and deeper it comes to a question whether the parents does really understand about the education and school. This is not good to our generation.
I would like to share a story about my friends. One day we have an argument about the teachers and schools. They said that teachers normally can not be trusted. And more over to what they argued, schools and teachers are hopeless and not capable. I always consider myself as a teacher, not because of I am teaching, but I have children my own. That is why I always consider myself as a teacher. As such I argued with them by saying that teachers are always honest and responsible to their teaching and the profession. Interestingly the argument becomes tense and cannot be controlled anymore. At the end I just made conclusion like this ..."if you think that you do not trust the teachers and the schools, and think that you guys are good enough in educating the children, I suggest you to take your children back home and educate them by yourself".... then the argument stopped.
In fact to me, we should understand the bond between teachers, parents, society and schools are suppose to be close. We should work together in ensuring the educational process of the children is done effectively. But what we have done is something different and unusual. Taking the SK Pristana as an example, we should look back to ourselves and start asking..."what type of parents are we"...until we dare to do such a thing to our children's school. I think I should say the same to these types of parents the same that I did before to my friends!!!!!! One thing that I think those parents should and must do is that to ask forgiveness from the school especially to the teachers of the wrong doing that they have committed. What ashamed.
To me it is not only about the capability of being a parent. I think I have mentioned this many times in my previous story about the requirement of being a parent. It is clear that those parents still lack in parenting skills. In other words they still need to learn how to become a parent. Or shall I say they actually does not have the capability of being a parent or they actually are not ready to become a parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But what more dangerous about this is that the "fitnah". Prophet PBUH has reminded us about the dangerousness of the "fitnah" if we fail to control it. It is now become apparent that the "fitnah" is now become something common and what make it interesting is that people like to do it and they happy to do it.
How do we understand about "fitnah" really. Prophet PBUH clearly warned us that "fitnah" is more dangerous than killing. Killing others will only affect to that particular persons and his relatives. But "fitnah" can destroyed not just the people but the society, which including us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
People now likes to spread story as they like to. Without any evidences they happily spread the untrue story as long to them it is true. And what make things worse is that, people tend to buy it, just like those parents at SK Seri Pristana.
There are many times we have seen or heard about one incident like car accident. It was told from one person to another that the car driver was dead at the scene instantly but in fact the things that dead was only the car engine!!!!!!!!!!! What a childish behaviour that we have now, failed to see between what is true and right and what is wrong and fake.
This is actually like I said earlier is not good for our children. They read the story, they heard the news and this is not good at all. Even telling something about the kids right in front of them is not encouraged. Do check back to what has been said in Islam as well as the learning theorists.....regarding the parenting issues...
I think that's all that I would like to say...
May Allah be always with us and guide us....
Thank you
Wednesday, 24 July 2013
CHOICES IN LIFE
Hi everyone,
Meet again in another interesting topic. As we know that in everyday life we need to make choices.
Regardless of how the choice will be it will make us happy or otherwise for sure.
I went to the hospital last week to assist my cousin for his follow-up medical check-cup. Not so often for me to go to that hospital as I normally utilised my panel clinic.
It seems like I had gone back to the years when I was a kid. Hospital as usual, full of people with various nature. Some were busy waiting for their turn, some others waiting for their medicine, and others with their own reasons which I am not really known to.
It gives me a big question mark in my head. Whats wrong with the hospital? Is it considered as normal - hospital must full of people waiting? Not enough doctor that make them waiting? Or many other questions that people like me as a layman would think of.
This was also reminded me to the time when I brought my father for his follow-up medical check-up in 2003. He was told to come for the appointment, I can't really remember what day and when, if I am not mistaken it was on monday morning for the specialist. When we get there it was really disappointed day. The counter just simply said that the specialist has not arrived from KL and we need to comeback on the next day.
And here again we come on the next day early in the morning with the thinking to avoid many people because the counter was only said for us to come back in the morning. My father was suffering lung cancer and barely to stay still because of the pain I guessed. And again we need to wait for the number to be called. Person by person entering the room for their turn. Until the afternoon we were waiting and finally the nurse said it is lunch time and we need to come back after that.
So we wait again until after lunch and finally my father managed to see the doctor. Interestingly it took only about 10 minutes for the specialist doctor to do the check-up before he told my father to comeback another 6 month for further check-up (unfortunately my father was passed away few months after that before he got the chance to come for the check-up). It is really sad for me. One thing I learned is that to get that precious 10 minutes requires patients and courage.
Back to what I have said earlier I think those who really interested of becoming a doctor need to consider their decision deeply. The objectives, the way they perceive the profession, and more importantly is that how they see the bond between the doctor and the patients.Sometimes because of monetary issues. Even my son did mention this - "I want to be a doctor because I can get thousands of ringgit every month". Funny huh...but this can be amended from time to time. I would say to those who really interested in going into this field should consider their objectives deeply and thoroughly.
To me it is more about responsibilities. I have heard a story where a student who passed his medical doctor did not want to work as a doctor but he opted to be a teacher. The doctor scroll is for his mother not for him and finally he had become an excellent teacher at his school.
Lesson that can be taken from this is that what ever we choose and what ever we decide it is always about responsibilities. With honesty we can venture what it means by responsibility.
To my young medical doctor programme candidates I wish you all the best and be the best of you. A little smile from one single patients hopefully will be a biiiiiiiiig smile of you guys.
Thank you for reading and take care...
See you soon.
Meet again in another interesting topic. As we know that in everyday life we need to make choices.
Regardless of how the choice will be it will make us happy or otherwise for sure.
I went to the hospital last week to assist my cousin for his follow-up medical check-cup. Not so often for me to go to that hospital as I normally utilised my panel clinic.
It seems like I had gone back to the years when I was a kid. Hospital as usual, full of people with various nature. Some were busy waiting for their turn, some others waiting for their medicine, and others with their own reasons which I am not really known to.
It gives me a big question mark in my head. Whats wrong with the hospital? Is it considered as normal - hospital must full of people waiting? Not enough doctor that make them waiting? Or many other questions that people like me as a layman would think of.
This was also reminded me to the time when I brought my father for his follow-up medical check-up in 2003. He was told to come for the appointment, I can't really remember what day and when, if I am not mistaken it was on monday morning for the specialist. When we get there it was really disappointed day. The counter just simply said that the specialist has not arrived from KL and we need to comeback on the next day.
And here again we come on the next day early in the morning with the thinking to avoid many people because the counter was only said for us to come back in the morning. My father was suffering lung cancer and barely to stay still because of the pain I guessed. And again we need to wait for the number to be called. Person by person entering the room for their turn. Until the afternoon we were waiting and finally the nurse said it is lunch time and we need to come back after that.
So we wait again until after lunch and finally my father managed to see the doctor. Interestingly it took only about 10 minutes for the specialist doctor to do the check-up before he told my father to comeback another 6 month for further check-up (unfortunately my father was passed away few months after that before he got the chance to come for the check-up). It is really sad for me. One thing I learned is that to get that precious 10 minutes requires patients and courage.
Back to what I have said earlier I think those who really interested of becoming a doctor need to consider their decision deeply. The objectives, the way they perceive the profession, and more importantly is that how they see the bond between the doctor and the patients.Sometimes because of monetary issues. Even my son did mention this - "I want to be a doctor because I can get thousands of ringgit every month". Funny huh...but this can be amended from time to time. I would say to those who really interested in going into this field should consider their objectives deeply and thoroughly.
To me it is more about responsibilities. I have heard a story where a student who passed his medical doctor did not want to work as a doctor but he opted to be a teacher. The doctor scroll is for his mother not for him and finally he had become an excellent teacher at his school.
Lesson that can be taken from this is that what ever we choose and what ever we decide it is always about responsibilities. With honesty we can venture what it means by responsibility.
To my young medical doctor programme candidates I wish you all the best and be the best of you. A little smile from one single patients hopefully will be a biiiiiiiiig smile of you guys.
Thank you for reading and take care...
See you soon.
Monday, 22 July 2013
ABANDONING OR LEAVING
Hi everyone...
Meet again.
We have been struck with very sad yet disappointing news lately in the news about little kids died because of choking in the car. It is very very disappointed incidents really.
Sometimes we tend to forget that the little kids are always require supervision. What ever they do, or think, or even speak they need to be supervised and guided. Without close supervision that could misled or any serious things like this to happen.
There are several issues that we can propose in discussing these incidents. I would like to explore in two fundamental issues.
Firstly, is about our capability of becoming a parent to a child (children). Now it is clear that to become a parent is not just about giving them food, shelter, clothes, but it is more. Look back to what Islam has to say about it. Being a parent means everything. It is about "amanah". When we use this word it implies many thing.
How ready we are before becoming a parent, or even before we get married. It need skills though to make us really capable enough to be a person called father or mother. In every occasion we need to be well equipped with the parenting skills. Knowledge about child development for instance is crucial to us because that can tell us about how the child is develop. In fact there is no reason for us to say "it is not so important" since we requires that in bringing them up.
Allow me to relate the incidents by looking back to the child development. How do we get to know that 3 years of age children able to do what ever an adult do. The child might be able to open the door by themselves if we ask them to. I think we know this very well and in fact we always ask them to do by themselves at home after comes back from shopping for example. But how do we know that they also able to open the door if they need to.
Being left in the car make them choked. How do we educate them when in that situation the simplest thing to do is to open the door to let the air flow. At this stage actually they still yet to develop that kind of thinking ability - relating one situation to another in solving specific problem like choking!!!!
We need to understand this, their thinking ability and so on.
Secondly, which words are more appropriate in referring to these incidents. I have two suggestions anyway - "abandoning" or "leaving". Although it is quite similar in terms of meaning, but taking the children's thinking ability the meaning brings different understanding. It depends on how we see the situations really - the parent's actions and attitudes toward the behaviour, whether their action can be classify as abandoning or leaving the kids in the car. Do they really understand their roles and responsibilities!!!!!!!!!
Taking this situation into context it is clear that being a parent requires us to equip ourselves with several fundamental skills that the parent should have. It means that every single of individuals need to make sure they have the skills long before they start to think to get married. Lack of information should not be an issue anymore because all can be acquired easily nowadays. Information can be accessed easily, bookstore just around street, formal and informal courses are also available.
Just for deep personal consideration I guess....
We just don't want to regret to something bad just because of our carelessness and ignorance. Be a wise person before we can start thinking of producing another wise person.
As what Prophet PBUH has always did...wise person will only be developed from another wise person!!!!!!!!!
Thank you.
Meet again.
We have been struck with very sad yet disappointing news lately in the news about little kids died because of choking in the car. It is very very disappointed incidents really.
Sometimes we tend to forget that the little kids are always require supervision. What ever they do, or think, or even speak they need to be supervised and guided. Without close supervision that could misled or any serious things like this to happen.
There are several issues that we can propose in discussing these incidents. I would like to explore in two fundamental issues.
Firstly, is about our capability of becoming a parent to a child (children). Now it is clear that to become a parent is not just about giving them food, shelter, clothes, but it is more. Look back to what Islam has to say about it. Being a parent means everything. It is about "amanah". When we use this word it implies many thing.
How ready we are before becoming a parent, or even before we get married. It need skills though to make us really capable enough to be a person called father or mother. In every occasion we need to be well equipped with the parenting skills. Knowledge about child development for instance is crucial to us because that can tell us about how the child is develop. In fact there is no reason for us to say "it is not so important" since we requires that in bringing them up.
Allow me to relate the incidents by looking back to the child development. How do we get to know that 3 years of age children able to do what ever an adult do. The child might be able to open the door by themselves if we ask them to. I think we know this very well and in fact we always ask them to do by themselves at home after comes back from shopping for example. But how do we know that they also able to open the door if they need to.
Being left in the car make them choked. How do we educate them when in that situation the simplest thing to do is to open the door to let the air flow. At this stage actually they still yet to develop that kind of thinking ability - relating one situation to another in solving specific problem like choking!!!!
We need to understand this, their thinking ability and so on.
Secondly, which words are more appropriate in referring to these incidents. I have two suggestions anyway - "abandoning" or "leaving". Although it is quite similar in terms of meaning, but taking the children's thinking ability the meaning brings different understanding. It depends on how we see the situations really - the parent's actions and attitudes toward the behaviour, whether their action can be classify as abandoning or leaving the kids in the car. Do they really understand their roles and responsibilities!!!!!!!!!
Taking this situation into context it is clear that being a parent requires us to equip ourselves with several fundamental skills that the parent should have. It means that every single of individuals need to make sure they have the skills long before they start to think to get married. Lack of information should not be an issue anymore because all can be acquired easily nowadays. Information can be accessed easily, bookstore just around street, formal and informal courses are also available.
Just for deep personal consideration I guess....
We just don't want to regret to something bad just because of our carelessness and ignorance. Be a wise person before we can start thinking of producing another wise person.
As what Prophet PBUH has always did...wise person will only be developed from another wise person!!!!!!!!!
Thank you.
DISHEARTENED
Hi folks,
It has been long I guess....my absence from writing.
Though it is not too late I presume to wish all Muslims a Happy Fasting of Ramadhan. May this year's Ramadhan will give more as compared to the previous one.
I felt disheartened again and again. And it happened everyday on my way to work.
People cutting ques without any conscience at all. Sometimes this is not good at all to myself - feeling sad everyday not because of me but by others, unfair is it. Being sad because of other people.
Actually we should understand that in terms of learning, this isn't very good. I think I have mentioned this many times - learning through example, as what has been practiced by Prophet PBUH. When people start thinking that they have been utilised, victimised, cheated, the tendency to overcome the problem by doing the same thing is higher. If this thing happened over and over again it will creates a piece of understanding to do the same thing in the heart.
In other words we actually encouraging bad habits (in this example cutting the ques) among people. One day they will develop that intention and don't be surprise on the other day the man who always observing the rule by lining up in the ques will commit cutting ques. Because of the frustration of being cheated they finally doing the same thing as a source of personal satisfaction.
This is sad actually. Islam has clearly stated that even taking away sticks and twigs from the walking path is always be encouraged. But what have we did here is something away from that principles. We are not taking away anything but putting more problems on the street.
Imagine these connections is learned by the youngsters. Its going to be a never ending story. The road life will never be safe anymore. No fun at all for learning.
Just a thought....
Thank you.
It has been long I guess....my absence from writing.
Though it is not too late I presume to wish all Muslims a Happy Fasting of Ramadhan. May this year's Ramadhan will give more as compared to the previous one.
I felt disheartened again and again. And it happened everyday on my way to work.
People cutting ques without any conscience at all. Sometimes this is not good at all to myself - feeling sad everyday not because of me but by others, unfair is it. Being sad because of other people.
Actually we should understand that in terms of learning, this isn't very good. I think I have mentioned this many times - learning through example, as what has been practiced by Prophet PBUH. When people start thinking that they have been utilised, victimised, cheated, the tendency to overcome the problem by doing the same thing is higher. If this thing happened over and over again it will creates a piece of understanding to do the same thing in the heart.
In other words we actually encouraging bad habits (in this example cutting the ques) among people. One day they will develop that intention and don't be surprise on the other day the man who always observing the rule by lining up in the ques will commit cutting ques. Because of the frustration of being cheated they finally doing the same thing as a source of personal satisfaction.
This is sad actually. Islam has clearly stated that even taking away sticks and twigs from the walking path is always be encouraged. But what have we did here is something away from that principles. We are not taking away anything but putting more problems on the street.
Imagine these connections is learned by the youngsters. Its going to be a never ending story. The road life will never be safe anymore. No fun at all for learning.
Just a thought....
Thank you.
Friday, 3 May 2013
THE IMPORTANCE OF CHILDREN TO A WOMAN
Hi guys,
I realised now that women are more attached to their children and no wonder the children were closer to their mother.
In my case I need to pack my youngest son his lunch on every friday. Kind of routine I guessed. And there are times where I have missed that routine. My wife will expressed her sadness to me deeply and sometimes for the whole day !!!!!!!!
In other occasion I also got confronted by my daughter just because she found out my student's picture in my phone!!! Hahahaha...funny huh....
To my wife her children is everything. No doubt about it.
Something that I learn from that is the connection between the mother and the children. Its so much to explain here which I think we will go to it slowly when we continue discussing education in a more broader perspectives.
Think about it guys....we will know better.
Thank you
I realised now that women are more attached to their children and no wonder the children were closer to their mother.
In my case I need to pack my youngest son his lunch on every friday. Kind of routine I guessed. And there are times where I have missed that routine. My wife will expressed her sadness to me deeply and sometimes for the whole day !!!!!!!!
In other occasion I also got confronted by my daughter just because she found out my student's picture in my phone!!! Hahahaha...funny huh....
To my wife her children is everything. No doubt about it.
Something that I learn from that is the connection between the mother and the children. Its so much to explain here which I think we will go to it slowly when we continue discussing education in a more broader perspectives.
Think about it guys....we will know better.
Thank you
Tuesday, 16 April 2013
MENGIMBAU TRAGEDI LAHAD DATU DARIPADA PERSPEKTIF PSIKOLOGI
Sebak rasa hati saya apabila melihat keganasan yang berlaku di Lahad
Datu. Keganasan, Kecederaan, termasuk kematian yang berlaku pada pandangan saya
tidak harus berlaku dalam dunia yang serba moden dan mementingkan kemajuan
pengetahuan. Namun begitu ianya telah menjadi satu lagi titik hitam dalam
sejarah Malaysia. Kefahaman tentang erti kehidupan yang di dalamnya termasuk
hidup berlandaskan agama seperti hidup secara bersama, harmoni, toleransi,
saling bantu membantu dan memahami seolah-olah tidak wujud sama sekali.
Hasilnya berlakulah tragedi Lahad Datu di mana kematian telah berlaku secara
tidak sepatutnya. Walaupun pelbagai spekulasi dan kenyataan dikemukakan untuk
menjelaskan mengapa tragedi tersebut boleh berlaku tidak banyak yang boleh
dilakukan terutamanya dalam mengelakkan ianya daripada terjadi.
Saya merasa terpanggil untuk menilai tragedi Lahad Datu mengikut
persepektif psikologi. Persoalan-persoalan seperti mengapa ianya boleh terjadi,
bagaimana ianya boleh terjadi, apakah factor-faktor yang mendasari berlakunya
kejadian tersebut, serta apakah pendekatan teori yang boleh dikemukakan mungkin sedikit sebanyak
boleh menjelaskan kejadian tersebut mengikut perspektif yang lebih objektif dan
berlandaskan teori dan sejarah.
Tanpa mengambil sikap menuduh ataupun berpihak mari kita lihat
kejadian menyerang dan mengganas di Lahad Datu mengikut perspektif tingkah
laku. Beberapa persoalan yang boleh dikemukakan adalah seperti mengapa mereka
boleh bertindak sedemikian rupa, bagaimana tingkah laku tersebut boleh
terbentuk, apa pendorong kepada terbentuknya tingkah laku tersebut, dan penjelasan
teori berkaitan berkenaan dengan tingkah laku tersebut.
Asal usul kejadian manusia boleh dilihat dengan mudah seperti yang
dinyatakan dalam Al Quran iaitu "Tidak Aku jadikan
jin dan manusia melainkan untuk mengabdikan diri kepadaKu (Allah)" (Surah
az-Zarriyat: 56). Pernyataan Allah membawa maksud bahawa tujuan manusia dicipta
adalah untuk menjadi khalifah di bumi Allah yang sentiasa bertaqwa dan
mengabdikan diri mematuhi perintahNya. Mereka lalu diberi nikmat akal untuk
membezakannya dengan makhluk yang lain.
Dengan akal pula maka diturunkan Islam yang
syumul lagi lengkap sebagai panduan hidup supaya tidak terjadi kesesatan dan
kesukaran semasa hidup di dunia sebagai khalifah. Mengambil iktibar daripada
apa yang dinyatakan oleh Allah SWT boleh dikatakan bahawa tragedi Lahad Datu
tidak seharusnya berlaku jika manusia memahami dengan jelas maksud yang
dinyatakan dalam firmanNya itu. Oleh yang demikian tingkah laku membunuh,
seperti yang dilakukan oleh pengganas Sulu terhadap pasukan keselamatan sebenarnya
tidak termasuk dalam maksud yang dinyatakan oleh Allah SWT.
Kalau ditinjau berdasarkan teori perkembangan
tingkah laku, perlakuan seseorang adalah merupakan suatu proses berterusan yang
dilalui oleh individu secara sedar dan tidak sedar yang dikenali sebagai
“pembelajaran.” Jika dilihat daripada perspektif psikologi abnormal tingkah
laku agresif seperti membunuh ini boleh dikatakan menjurus kepada permasalahan
mental. Kategori berpenyakit mental ini digunakan kerana mengambil kira
perlakuan menembak dan membunuh sebagai abnormal dalam kalangan masyarakat
normal. Ini kerana tindakan membunuh tidak termasuk sebagai salah satu konsep
dalam definisi hidup manusia normal. Atau dengan kata lain manusia yang normal
tidak akan sekali-kali membunuh.
Keadaan ini tidak selari dengan apa yang
dikatakan oleh Allah SWT iaitu “sesungguhnya orang mukmin adalah bersaudara…”
(Surah Al Hujuurat: 13). Malah dalam hadis Rasulullah SAW diperjelaskan lagi di
mana “orang Islam itu adalah saudara kepada seorang Islam yang lain…” (Riwayat
Bukhari & Muslim) dan juga “tidak beriman (dengan iman yang sempurna)
sesiapa di antara kamu sehingga dia menyintai saudaranya sebagaimana dia
menyintai dirinya (Riwayat Bukhari & Muslim).
Mari kita lihat bagaimana sesuatu tingkah
laku boleh terbentuk. Dalam Islam dinyatakan dengan jelas bahawa perkembangan
individu merupakan suatu proses yang panjang dan berterusan. Dengan perkataan
lebih mudah ianya melibatkan tanggungjawab dan amanah. Seperti dinyatakan dalam
ayat Al Quran di atas, untuk menjadi khalifah pelbagai perkara perlu
dipelajari. Inilah yang dinamakan pembelajaran, iaitu suatu proses untuk
menjadi khalifah seperti yang dimaksudkan oleh Allah SWT tersebut.
Dalam proses menentukan perkembangan yang
bersesuaian dan selari dengan matlamat yang ditetapkan pelbagai perkara menjadi
bahan pertimbangan. Komponen-komponen seperti persekitaran, peranan ibubapa,
peranan individu itu sendiri, peranan ahli keluarga, jiran tetangga, rakan,
sekolah dan masyarakat keseluruhannya memberi kesan kepada proses perkembangan
tersebut.
Sebab itu dalam Islam ada disebutkan bahawa “setiap
anak yang dilahirkan telah membawa fitrah beragama…maka kedua orang tuanyalah
yang akan menjadikan anak tersebut beragama Yahudi, Nasrani, ataupun Majusi”
(HR Bukhari). Ini bermakna perkembangan anak-anak adalah dipengaruhi oleh
didikan ibubapanya. Malahan seperti yang dikatakan oleh Imam Al Ghazali bahawa
anak adalah amanah kepada kedua orang tuanya dan hatinya yang suci adalah
permata yang mahal. Dua perkara menurut Imam Al Ghazali yang perlu menjadi
pertimbangan dan kefahaman ibubapa adalah:
i. Anak apabila diajar dan
dibiasakan dengan kebaikan, maka ia akan berkembang kepada kebaikan, dan
ii. Anak apabila dibiasakan untuk
melakukan kejahatan dan dibiarkan maka ia akan sengsara dan binasa.
Kenyataan yang sama juga dikemukakan oleh Uri Bronfenbrenner seorang
pakar psikologi perkembangan barat di mana perkembangan individu perlu
mengambil kira pelbagai pengaruh persekitaran iaitu sistem mikro, sistem meso,
sistem ekso, sistem makro. Senarai di bawah menjelaskan bagaimana perkaitan
antara setiap lapisan sistem yang dicadangkan oleh beliau.
1. Sistem Mikro - keluarga, bilik darjah, rakan, perjiranan, pegangan agama
2. Sistem Meso - sekolah, amalan hidup, masyarakat
3. Sistem Ekso - persekitaran hidup, media, tempat kerja ibubapa, persatuan, dan seumpamanya
4. Sistem Makro - budaya, peraturan, undang-undang, norma, dsb.
Menjelaskan perkaitan antara lapisan-lapisan tersebut Bronfenbrenner
menyatakan bahawa keberkesanan perkembangan individu adalah sangat berkait
dengan keselarian antara setiap lapisan. Sekiranya setiap lapisan mempunyai
ekspektasi dan amalan yang serupa maka proses perkembangan individu akan
menjadi lebih mudah. Dengan lain perkataan setiap lapisan seharusnya
mengamalkan dan mendidik perkara yang serupa dan selari serta mempunyai matlamat
yang sama supaya individu akan memperoleh maklumat yang sama.
Ambil contoh perilaku agresif tadi, sekiranya kanak-kanak telah
dididik dengan tingkah laku agresif yang sedemikian rupa pada peringkat keluarga
maka mereka akan terdidik sedemikian. Tingkah laku akan menjadi lebih kukuh
apabila lapisan berikutnya iaitu apabila kanak-kanak mulai berinteraksi dengan
rakan sebaya, bersekolah, dengan jiran tetangga mengamalkan perkara yang sama
seperti di dalam keluarga. Perkaitan ini akan menjadi semakin kukuh sekiranya
lapisan-lapisan yang lebih besar juga mengamalkan dan mendidik perkara yang
serupa.
Adalah menjadi persoalan apakah pendekatan pendidikan yang diamalkan
dalam kalangan masyarakat Sulu di selatan Filipina sehingga berupaya
menzahirkan perilaku agresif membunuh seperti yang ditunjukkan dalam tragedi
Lahad Datu. Berdasarkan teori Bronfenbrenner ini dijangkakan terdapat perkaitan
yang signifikan antara amalan dan pendidikan yang diamalkan di dalam masyarakat
tersebut. Amalan-amalan dan perlakuan seperti bermain senjata sebenar,
indoktrinasi kefahaman hidup, penyelewengan maklumat dan kebenaran merupakan
antara contoh yang boleh diandaikan menjadi suatu budaya dalam masyarakat Sulu.
Pun begitu kita masih lagi tertanya-tanya mengapa dalam keadaan-keadaan
sedemikian terdapat individu yang sanggup menembak yang saya yakin adalah
dengan niat untuk membunuh. Malahan sebagai seorang anggota keselamatan sendiri
berdasarkan apa yang saya fahami selama ini tembakan bukan dengan begitu mudah
untuk dikategorikan sebagai untuk membunuh. Dan saya yakin jika dinilai dari
perspektif individu sekalipun, keupayaan untuk mencederakan apatah lagi untuk
membunuh hanya akan lahir dalam keadaan-keadaan tertentu. Justeru itu kejadian
menembak yang banyak berlaku lebih menjurus kepada konsep “rangsangan” dan
“tindak balas” seperti yang dinyatakan menurut ahli teori perlakuan. Ini
terutamanya apabila berada dalam keadaan satu sama satu.
Untuk menjelaskan bagaimana proses penzahiran tingkah laku
sedemikian mari kita lihat bagaimana proses sesuatu tingkah laku terbentuk
berdasarkan Model Pembelajaran Pemerhatian Albert Bandura. Saya mengambil model
ini bukan semata-mata untuk menyatakan ianya benar-benar terbukti sebagai
berlaku, tetapi lebih kepada bagaimana memahami sesuatu tingkah laku boleh
terbentuk dan dizahirkan.
Menurut Bandura penzahiran sesuatu tingkah laku sebenarnya merupakan
suatu proses yang melibatkan empat komponen utama yang berkaitan. Proses itu
pula akan dilalui oleh individu secara sedar dan berupaya untuk memahaminya
sebelum ditiru dan
Seperti dinyatakan diawal tadi, tingkah laku tertentu terbentuk
apabila individu didedahkan dengan tingkah laku tersebut oleh orang lain.
Setelah tingkah laku tersebut diperhatikan maka ianya mulai diproses di dalam
mental seseorang sebelum memikirkan apakah ianya sesuai ataupun selari dengan
naluri, kecenderungan, minat, dan norma yang berlaku dalam persekitaran di mana
individu tersebut tinggal. Walaupun begitu, tingkah laku tersebut tidak semudah
itu ditiru dan dizahirkan sebelum individu itu dapat melihat ada
kepentingan-kepentingan tertentu samada daripada aspek kepuasan diri, imbalan
yang akan diperolehi, ekspektasi daripada jika tingkah laku tersebut dilakukan,
serta penilaian secara kendiri berkenaan dengan tingkah laku tersebut.
Sekiranya apa yang diharapkan, ekspektasi yang dibentuk selari
dengan kehendak dan kefahaman maka akhirnya barulah tingkah laku tersebut
dibentuk dan dizahirkan. Proses penzahiran itu pula sebenarnya jika dikaitkan
dengan tempoh masa ianya adalah berkaitan dengan kekuatan dan kualiti tingkah
laku yang dilakukan itu nanti. Konsep yang serupa sebenarnya boleh digunakan
bagaimana menilai sesuatu sikap, pendirian, kefahaman, cara berfikir setiap
individu terbentuk.
Seperkara yang lebih menarik untuk dikemukakan adalah berkaitan
dengan keupayaan individu sebagai seorang manusia yang mempunyai akal dan
kepintaran. Kita boleh andaikan proses pembelajaran tersebut sebenarnya tidak
berlaku sedemikian rupa tanpa ada penambahbaikan, pengubahsuian dan modifikasi.
Melalui kepintaran dan akal yang diberikan oleh Allah SWT maka peniruan tingkah
laku tersebut akan menjadi lebih kompleks dan pelbagai. Justeru kekuatan setiap
komponen dalam mempengaruhi proses peniruan tingkah laku tersebut akan
menentukan sejauh mana tingkah laku tersebut akan ditiru dan dizahirkan.
Sebagai andaian mungkin kita boleh katakan indoktrinasi dan
pembudayaan cara hidup berperang yang diamalkan mungkin sedikit sebanyak
menjadi pembina dan pengukuh kepada tingkah laku membunuh tersebut. Banyak
kemungkinan yang boleh dikemukakan di sini berkaitan dengan imbalan yang
difahami akan diperolehi sekiranya tingkah laku tersebut dizahirkan. Status
mati syahid sebagai contoh merupakan salah satu insentif yang dijangkakan akan
diperolehi selepas perilaku tersebut dilakukan. Selain itu mungkin faktor kepuasan
diri, menyenangkan hati orang lain, takut, atau seumpamanya.
Justeru dalam Islam telah dijelaskan dengan nyata bahawa antara
proses pembelajaran yang sangat berkesan adalah melalui pemerhatian. Dalam
hadis yang diriwayatkan oleh Bukhari, Rasulullah SAW dengan jelas menyebutkan “solatlah
kamu sebagaimana kamu melihat aku bersolat”. Ini menggambarkan bagaimana kita
perlu mengambil kira keberkesanan sesuatu pembelajaran melalui pemerhatian.
Sebagai kesimpulan dapat dikatakan bahawa penzahiran tingkah laku
merupakan sesuatu yang saling berkait. Setiap individu adalah berperanan dalam
mencorakkan sesuatu tingkah laku dizahirkan terutamanya oleh golongan individu
yang lebih muda. Setiap apa yang kita katakan, yang kita sampaikan, yang kita
ajarkan, yang kita contohkan, yang kita tanamkan, merupakan pengajar dan
peneguh yang sangat berkesan kepada pembentukan diri individu, terutamanya
anak-anak kita.
Justeru itu sebagai pendidik kita perlu berhati-hati dan sentiasa memikirkan
impak yang akan kita hasilkan kesan daripada proses pendidikan yang kita
amalkan dalam kalangan anak-anak kita kerana ianya telah digariskan dengan
jelas dalam Islam bahawa “seseorang itu adalah pengembala di dalam rumah
keluarganya dan bertanggungjawab terhadap gembalaannya itu (Hadis riwayat Al
Bukhari dan Muslim).
Dengan berlakunya kejadian bom di Boston Amerika Syarikat
menunjukkan betapa konsep pendidikan dan proses yang mendasarinya perlu disemak
semula. Kadang-kadang kita mudah merasakan apa yang kita amalkan dan ajarkan
telah sesuai seperti yang dinyatakan. Akan tetapi kita juga sering terlupa
bahawa pendekatan yang kita amalkan tersebut adakalanya telah dipengaruhi oleh
prejudis, kepentingan diri, dan lain-lain yang berkaitan. Maka dari itu
pendekatan dan pengajaran yang diamalkan telah mengalami perubahan dan dan
penambahan yang kadang-kadang tidak sesuai sama sekali.
Sehubungan itu, matlamat dan dasar pendidikan negara sebenarnya
telahpun tercatat dengan jelas dalam Falsafah Pendidikan Kebangsaan di mana
kepentingan pendidikan tidak hanya melibatkan pencapaian matlamat tertentu
tetapi pembinaan individu yang lengkap dan berkompetensi dalam semua aspek. Mengambil
iktibar daripada apa yang dinyatakan seharusnya kita lebih bertanggungjawab
semasa menjalankan tugas memberikan didikan kepada anak-anak kita, kepada
generasi kita supaya mereka berkembang dengan baik sesuai dengan apa yang
dinyatakan dalam Islam. Justeru dengan cara memahami dan menyedari apakah
matlamat hidup dikaitkan dengan pendidikan dalam proses kita mendidik generasi
yang akan datang sesuai seperti yang dikehendakkiNya boleh membantu kita
menjadi pendidik yang baik dan berkesan.
Dr Zainudin Abu
Bakar
Pengajar
Psikologi Pendidikan
Fakulti
Pendidikan
Universiti
Teknologi Malaysia
81310 Johor
Bahru, Johor.
075534414
0197558968
Friday, 8 March 2013
DOES FAKING STORY ALWAYS MAKE SENSE - THE CASE OF LAHAD DATU SABAH, MALAYSIA
Hi guys,
Spent some time hibernating I guess....wish you in a good health always.
In Malaysia now has been rocked with eye irritating incident which acclaimed not just Malaysian but to the whole world. A group of people trying to highlight their interest by underlining it with intruding to Sabah (a state in Malaysia). A number of casualties recorded for both the Malaysian security forces as well as the intruders.
The incident is undeniable can be seen from different perspectives according the person. For some they may see this as an initiation of personal interest. Some may say this as a propaganda. But there also some would see this as a conspiracy. What ever that is or how ever they come out with the incident is already happened with several unnecessary casualties.
To me it is something like a human imposing their interest to other human. It should have been considered I supposed by considering current situation and place. We are rules by international custom and regulation which usually applies to everyone around the globe. Yes it was right those days but no longer at present. It is more like our acceptance to what has been decided or been agreed upon which orchestrating the current situation.
Education as understood is suppose to embrace all the requirements. Young generation should be taught the elements of knowledge, acceptance, tolerance, understanding, love, hard working, and etc. which I think universal to any custom.
By doing so I think we can live in this world peacefully by integrating our personal interest with the current needs and requirement.
Tha'ts all for now.
Education for all.
Bye.
Spent some time hibernating I guess....wish you in a good health always.
In Malaysia now has been rocked with eye irritating incident which acclaimed not just Malaysian but to the whole world. A group of people trying to highlight their interest by underlining it with intruding to Sabah (a state in Malaysia). A number of casualties recorded for both the Malaysian security forces as well as the intruders.
The incident is undeniable can be seen from different perspectives according the person. For some they may see this as an initiation of personal interest. Some may say this as a propaganda. But there also some would see this as a conspiracy. What ever that is or how ever they come out with the incident is already happened with several unnecessary casualties.
To me it is something like a human imposing their interest to other human. It should have been considered I supposed by considering current situation and place. We are rules by international custom and regulation which usually applies to everyone around the globe. Yes it was right those days but no longer at present. It is more like our acceptance to what has been decided or been agreed upon which orchestrating the current situation.
Education as understood is suppose to embrace all the requirements. Young generation should be taught the elements of knowledge, acceptance, tolerance, understanding, love, hard working, and etc. which I think universal to any custom.
By doing so I think we can live in this world peacefully by integrating our personal interest with the current needs and requirement.
Tha'ts all for now.
Education for all.
Bye.
Saturday, 2 February 2013
ALWAYS ABOUT CONSISTENCY
Hi all...
In psychology we talked about personality which can be divided at least to two types - fluid and crystalised (according to one psychologist).
Allah SWT gives us with that and no doubt about it. I just wanted to share a very interesting incident which happened in the very in front of me.
Its about my friend (working at the same place). He is somebody that holding post. In his management I found that he always trying to assist his subordinates and the way he lead the department shows his concerned on the people whom he is managing more. He always put the staff above all.
It happened one day, he was driving right in front of me. He was little bit relax on his driving (perhaps that is his driving style) and for that he drove on the slow lane. This is very rare to see among Johorean drivers where they only driving on the left after being "asked" to - like being flashed light. But this guy was straight away moving to the left.
I do not know what is in his mind during that time but I guess he was doing what he think is right - giving way to other faster drivers. By driving slowly on the right lane is not only blocking other drivers but is also shows other related attitude such as selfish, stubborn, hardheaded and alike. This is to show how concern he is to other people. It is true then if we have such personality genuinely it will consistent anywhere in any situation.
Now, what we need to think of is that our attitude. Although the psychologist mention that the crystallised part is more difficult to amend but that's not necessarily cannot be changed at all. It is up to us though to think how it can be changed.
Like asking horses to drink, we can only bring them to the pond but we cannot force them to drink the water.
That's all for now.
Take care...
In psychology we talked about personality which can be divided at least to two types - fluid and crystalised (according to one psychologist).
Allah SWT gives us with that and no doubt about it. I just wanted to share a very interesting incident which happened in the very in front of me.
Its about my friend (working at the same place). He is somebody that holding post. In his management I found that he always trying to assist his subordinates and the way he lead the department shows his concerned on the people whom he is managing more. He always put the staff above all.
It happened one day, he was driving right in front of me. He was little bit relax on his driving (perhaps that is his driving style) and for that he drove on the slow lane. This is very rare to see among Johorean drivers where they only driving on the left after being "asked" to - like being flashed light. But this guy was straight away moving to the left.
I do not know what is in his mind during that time but I guess he was doing what he think is right - giving way to other faster drivers. By driving slowly on the right lane is not only blocking other drivers but is also shows other related attitude such as selfish, stubborn, hardheaded and alike. This is to show how concern he is to other people. It is true then if we have such personality genuinely it will consistent anywhere in any situation.
Now, what we need to think of is that our attitude. Although the psychologist mention that the crystallised part is more difficult to amend but that's not necessarily cannot be changed at all. It is up to us though to think how it can be changed.
Like asking horses to drink, we can only bring them to the pond but we cannot force them to drink the water.
That's all for now.
Take care...
WORD DOES MATTER
Hi guys,
Yesterday I was talking to my youngest son about being independent. We were discussing about how to be independent. I realised that we sometimes overlooked of how we convey the message of learning in our conversation.
Try have a look on this...
"I want to teach you how...."
" I want you to learn how..."
Look simple but gives different effect and meaning to the children's understanding.
The first one look dominant and directive but the second one is more flexible and encouraging where the child will feel that they the one who need to learn.
In a simple terms we need to aware of how we communicate the learning to our children. Because words and sentences that we were using can affect to the children's thinking skills and their mental ability.
Happy trying...
Bye and see you later...
Yesterday I was talking to my youngest son about being independent. We were discussing about how to be independent. I realised that we sometimes overlooked of how we convey the message of learning in our conversation.
Try have a look on this...
"I want to teach you how...."
" I want you to learn how..."
Look simple but gives different effect and meaning to the children's understanding.
The first one look dominant and directive but the second one is more flexible and encouraging where the child will feel that they the one who need to learn.
In a simple terms we need to aware of how we communicate the learning to our children. Because words and sentences that we were using can affect to the children's thinking skills and their mental ability.
Happy trying...
Bye and see you later...
Thursday, 17 January 2013
BRINGING HOBBY INTO EDUCATION - PART 1
Hi guys...
Meet again. Wish you well always...
In educating our children we sometimes, or we way say most of the time hahaha...., overlooked of how strong our personal hobby in influencing our children's learning process.
Take a hobby of keeping our car tidy. Usually people will say that the attitude of keeping the car nice, clean and tidy is a reflection of the person. But quite often though we forget to see how effective this attitude to education processes.
I have seen many times two situations - one is people who are really messy in keeping their car and the other one who are really particulars in their car. But interestingly they practiced quite similar behaviour - littering attitude!!!! We can easily seen how people prefer to throw away their rubbish out of their window, I mean generally for both. To me this is a reflection of the person.
In fact we can make use of this situation into our activities of educating our children. Cleanliness is something encouraged in Islam. The best way is to convey the message of cleanliness by utilising our attitude of keeping our car. What we normally do was separating the attitude of keeping our car tidy and the education activity. To me it is something interconnected. If we willing to spare some of our precious times in making sure our car looked nice, we should always remember that that particular positive attitude be transformed in guiding our children the attitude of cleanliness. We need to find ways how we keep our car nice and tidy into daily practices. The children will slowly understand and try imitate that particular behaviour.
Share our hobby by telling them about cleanliness, relationships to our religion, why in such a way it affect to the environment as well as people, and what most important is that guiding them by showing our example of keeping our car tidy. Share with them why we should practice that particular behaviour and attitude - observing cleanliness does not mean by keeping our car clean only but also by not throwing rubbish out of window, keeping rubbish in a bag or even in our pocket. This is I think what has been said in Islam about relationships - not just with Allah SWT, but also to other human, the environment.
If we looked back to what our Prophet (SAW) have shown it was really something about consistency. His behaviour is always congruence to what he is saying. The same way goes to us I supposed - if we can keep our car clean, nice and tidy so does to the other context.
Albert Bandura, psychologist who had proposed the Observational Learning, suggested that in order for observational learning to happened it should always consists of four stages - attention, retention, production and motivation. Attention stage is where the behaviour is being attended to. The retention stage is where the behaviour is started to be processed in the mind. Whereas the production stage is where the copied behaviour is started to be formulated and to be shown. While the final stage is the encouragement the children will get. If it is congruence with their parents or other example the chance of the behaviour to be copied is higher. Don't be surprised our attitude will be copied and materialised by our children at the later stage!!!!!!!!!
In a simple word - try to always be fair to our children. They need guidance, role model, and good examples so that the learning process can happen smoothly. Without this their learning process becomes problematic!
See you later.
Meet again. Wish you well always...
In educating our children we sometimes, or we way say most of the time hahaha...., overlooked of how strong our personal hobby in influencing our children's learning process.
Take a hobby of keeping our car tidy. Usually people will say that the attitude of keeping the car nice, clean and tidy is a reflection of the person. But quite often though we forget to see how effective this attitude to education processes.
I have seen many times two situations - one is people who are really messy in keeping their car and the other one who are really particulars in their car. But interestingly they practiced quite similar behaviour - littering attitude!!!! We can easily seen how people prefer to throw away their rubbish out of their window, I mean generally for both. To me this is a reflection of the person.
In fact we can make use of this situation into our activities of educating our children. Cleanliness is something encouraged in Islam. The best way is to convey the message of cleanliness by utilising our attitude of keeping our car. What we normally do was separating the attitude of keeping our car tidy and the education activity. To me it is something interconnected. If we willing to spare some of our precious times in making sure our car looked nice, we should always remember that that particular positive attitude be transformed in guiding our children the attitude of cleanliness. We need to find ways how we keep our car nice and tidy into daily practices. The children will slowly understand and try imitate that particular behaviour.
Share our hobby by telling them about cleanliness, relationships to our religion, why in such a way it affect to the environment as well as people, and what most important is that guiding them by showing our example of keeping our car tidy. Share with them why we should practice that particular behaviour and attitude - observing cleanliness does not mean by keeping our car clean only but also by not throwing rubbish out of window, keeping rubbish in a bag or even in our pocket. This is I think what has been said in Islam about relationships - not just with Allah SWT, but also to other human, the environment.
If we looked back to what our Prophet (SAW) have shown it was really something about consistency. His behaviour is always congruence to what he is saying. The same way goes to us I supposed - if we can keep our car clean, nice and tidy so does to the other context.
Albert Bandura, psychologist who had proposed the Observational Learning, suggested that in order for observational learning to happened it should always consists of four stages - attention, retention, production and motivation. Attention stage is where the behaviour is being attended to. The retention stage is where the behaviour is started to be processed in the mind. Whereas the production stage is where the copied behaviour is started to be formulated and to be shown. While the final stage is the encouragement the children will get. If it is congruence with their parents or other example the chance of the behaviour to be copied is higher. Don't be surprised our attitude will be copied and materialised by our children at the later stage!!!!!!!!!
In a simple word - try to always be fair to our children. They need guidance, role model, and good examples so that the learning process can happen smoothly. Without this their learning process becomes problematic!
See you later.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)